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Improv Conspiracy Blog

The latest news, opinions and more!

  October 10, 2012

It’s our final week of Fringe so it seems like a good time for a frank discussion about what YOU bring to a performance. Especially as some of you may be joining us for the second or third time- or if you’re hardcore the fourth or fifth!* Read on for tips to take with you to your next improv event.

TIP: When asked, make bold suggestions. 

Let’s get the first and most obvious thing out of the way:

DICK, PENIS, WANG, COCK, PEEPEE, DING DONG, SCHLONG, PECKER etc etc

Yes, you're hilarious. Who hasn't whiled away some precious hours playing the "Penis Game" with some equally as funny friends? (If you don't know this one, it's where you and your nearest and dearest say 'Penis!" over and over, getting louder and louder until you offend some poor old lady on the tram.) Thankfully (sadly?) we haven't had any of these primary school suggestions, yet. I guess that just proves how mature and clever our audiences have been. But really, when we ask for something, there are no rules.  Be as bold as you like! Anything goes! But I know I’d rather see a Harold about a parma than a peepee. Who even calls it that?

TIP: Buy a beverage. 

Beverage yourself up! Don’t know what that means? That makes two of us. (Editor’s note: Stop trying to be funny and just educate the people!) Shuddup Editor, you ain’t the boss of me! Oh wait…what was I saying? Oh yeah, buy a drink!

This tip works wonders. Not only are you supporting the bar/club/pub that supports us- you are also upping the level of entertainment.  Now, I am not suggesting you need alcohol to find us entertaining! No sir! Heck, just grab yourself a Mount Franklin™. Because when you laugh out loud and splutter your drink through your nose, onto the people in front of you, you are adding an extra level of physical comedy that turns the night into something real special. Also, at The Croft, you can get novelty drinks, which will have you sucking on a syringe all night. Who wouldn’t love that?!

TIP: When you take your seats, don’t be scared to bunch up. 

Sit next to that random guy/girl. Wouldn’t that be a great story? “We met at this crazy improv night, and when he snorted into his novelty drink and a bit of his syringe-shot tickled my leg, I knew it was love at first sight!”. That could totally be you, if you just took the chance to fill in the gaps. I’m only thinking of you here, dear audience.

TIP: Enjoy the ride.

This is improv, and we’re all here to experience something that we’ll never be able to experience again. Join in with us! Don’t be scared to speak up, laugh loudly, cry boldly and clap hardly…wait, I mean hard. Hardly? Hard? Wait, we’re back onto penises. Peni? Oh well, I tried to avoid it. (Obviously not hard enough... gotta work on that.)

Brought to you by the weeniest Peeping Tom. (Damn it!) 

*I’ll be honest, it’s getting a bit stalky. Stop it. Kidding! Have a lifetime ticket!**

**I’ll be honest, I have no power to give out lifetime tickets.