Nadia Collins — Performer Details

  Join Date
August 2012

There have been reported sightings of Nadia Collins dating back to 1916, when the last known existing pair were held in captivity in Taronga Zoo. Some claim she is living in Melbourne, frequenting the improvised comedy circuit there. They say she’s been seen on stage at The Big HOO-HAA!, Dungeon Crawl, Impro Sketch, even competing at the Theatresports Nationals in 2010. Some claim she was working as a lawyer, others that no, she just sits on the couch all day eating blue Instant Pudding, which any fool who’s been to a Monster Mash party in grade one, knows to be the food of monsters. What kind of flavour is blue? That's your first giveaway as to its supernatural properties.

Others don’t claim anything, they just shake their heads gravely and say, “Get a job, nincompoop, and stop bothering decent folk with this nincompoopery.” You can't argue with that sort of logic. Nincompoop is in the dictionary and everything. Nincompoopery isn't, but in time, in time. Perhaps some mysteries are destined to remain unsolved.